celebrate leap day with a bowl of yummy cheese

What’s a better way to enjoy leap day? By celebrating that is! My friend Szabo and I went to the Melting Pot in Henderson, NV for dinner tonight. We enjoyed the greatest cheese fondue there….. The Mediterranean Cheese Dip. Tonight was the last day that it will be served- until the owners decide to bring it back. I need to “comment” to their website again to ask to bring it back. THEY NEED TO BRING IT BACK!

We would have enjoyed 2 bowls of this delicious fondue…. instead they were out of this stuff by the time we were ready to order. DOH!

being removed from a trust

Having your Dad’s name removed from a trust that he started is another sad process. Having to watch my Mom go through the anguish is really tough. Having the new trust drawn up just to reflect my Mom’s name only is so saddening.

canceling the cell phone

Today my Mom and I canceled my Dad’s cell phone. It’s very sad to remove someone from your phone plan especially if that person was the primary on the phone plan. The next step, my Mom had to set up a new account but luckily she got to keep her existing phone number.

A new experience for my Mom…. in a good way….

Back then….. hot oil, chicken, meat and chocolate. These were the only options for Fondue back in the 70′s.
Last Sunday night, my Mom and I went to Fondue at the Melting Pot in Henderson, NV. Originally Szabo and I were suppose to got but she has a terrible cold. So, instead of canceling the dinner reservation, I thought I would treat my Mom to dinner. I even had this coupon for a free chocolate fondue dessert which decreased the total dinner cost by $10. It was a great meal and I was soooo stuffed. Far more stuffed than when Szabo and I typically dine here because my stomach has shrunk (for the better) since I am eating smaller portions and I have lost 6 pounds. Woo Hoo. Back to our yummy dinner………

“The Big Night Out” for two:
Mediteranean Cheese Fondue- Fontina and Gruyere Cheese with dates, shallots, garlic, white wine and a spritz of truffle oil (yummy)!!!!!
Salad:
Spinach Mushroom: Spinach, onions, bacon, tomatoes, (something simple) with a bacon balsalmic light dressing (Mom’s Salad).
California Salad- Bibb, Butter and wild lettuce, gorgonzola cheese, tomatoes and walnuts with a strawberry vinagarette dressing (My salad).
Fondue Feast- Beef Tenderloin, Citrus Pork, Herb chicken, Shrimp, Balsalmic Beef with many dipping sauces and cooked in Coc Au Vin burgundy garlic herb broth.
Dessert- Milk and Dark Chocolate blended in this harmonious mixture, served with strawberries, bananas, rice krispy treat bites, brownies, cheesecake, green apples, oreo cookie coated marshmellows, coconut coated marshmellows and poundcake.

There were so many additional items. Even though the meal took way too long (3 hours), our server was scattered all over the restaurant but at least he was nice. Her first experience at the Melting Pot was a success and my winnings at GVR Casino ($111.64) paid for the meal.

So stuffed, hopefully I did not gain back the 6 pounds that I have lost since I have been staying here.

struck too close to home….. TOO SOON!!

My Mom and I went to go see the movie “The Bucket List”. We both knew what we were getting into seeing this type of movie. We didn’t realize that the topics, the scenarios, the feelings, the emotions that Morgan Freeman went through is something we just recently experienced. Watching part of this movie was like re-living situations with my Dad or what my Mom was feeling at times. I could have used half a box of Kleenex but I didn’t. I held in the emotions amidst the crowded theatre filled with “Seniors”. Some were crying too.

Regardless, the movie was really good and I highly recommend it to anyone.

Not a lazy Sunday…..

Here was my agenda for today:
1. Church with Mom- 9:30 am
2. Breakfast back at the house (Pastry and decaf coffee) 11 am
3. Went to Regal Cinemas at GVR Casino- “Bucket List”
4. Played the penny machines and won $111.64 (woo hoo)
5. Went to dinner at The Melting Pot with my Mom- it was delicious
6. Came home, sorted letters- so many letters, so many warm, caring people who want to offer so much love, support and help. (God Bless those souls).

Definitely not a “lazy Sunday”.

a little uplift

There were a few little things that happened today that brought some joy to my life today…..
1. It was nothing but sunshine today
2. Able to hang the American Flag in my parents backyard today (it will always be explained as my parents backyard or home even though it’s just my Mom now).
3. Spent $50 at GVR Casino and won $60 (positive $10). Earned 687 points and took home a Hamilton Beach Blender. 1 is awarded per 500 points. I had no intention to taking home a blender but since I had the points- why not?
4. Went to eat lunch at King Fish House and enjoyed a nice lunch with my Mom.
5. Went to Fiesta Casino with my Mom and picked up 2 free gifts. We each got a silicone loaf pan. At one point, I had won 759 quarters. I left today with a positive $149 in my pocket.
6. Played Mah Jongg with two of my Mom’s friends.

last Memorial

The planning and the prepping has taken so much out of me. I am mentally and physically drained through all of this. It’s a lot of grieving with not a lot of mourning. I am afraid to really fell the loss. I have gone through the process of knowing he is gone but I don’t know if I have really felt that he is gone. People say that once you get back into a normal routine, that is when you start to mourn. Right now, my Mom are doing the day in and day out stuff together but what happens when I leave to go home. Will my Mom be alright? I will only really know if she tells me. Lucky for me, my Mom doesn’t hold back like my Dad used to. I really hope that she asks or tells me that she needs assistance of any kind.
In a way, I am really relieved to be done with all the Funeral, Church Services and Memorial Service planning. It has been a trek. At the same time, it’s letting go. Do you know what I mean? I don’t even know how to explain things anymore.

one of my wonders, can anyone answer my question?

The day of the 7th that I will remember forever!!!!!! During his last ten minutes, his skin started to change color. It’s the term known in medicine as “mottling”. My only curiousity, the question I never asked at the Hospice……. when a person dies, why does the mottling dissipate and the color return to the body. When my Dad was struggling with his last breaths, his skin started to turn a dark purple in blotches more like someone with a really bad case of vericose veins. When he passed, his finger nails went from dark grey to pink, his skin color was returning to normal with a slight grey tint to it. The only thing I read about “mottling” at the Hospice center is that it’s due to poor circulation. The heart only focuses left on two things: breathing and keeping a heart beat, all other extremities (sp) and other areas lose circulation first causing skin and parts to turn a pale blue, grey blue or purple with blotches.

Also, how long before “rigor” sets in? While waiting for the mortuary to come and take him away for preparation……, we were in the room with him for a little over 3 hours. Occasionally, I would go over and hold his hand. It took a little over 2 hours before he started to feel “cool”. The palms of his hands were silky and soft almost like he never did a shred of hard labor (hardly the case). Does “rigor” set in at different speeds depending on the individual? Or is it the same time frame for everyone?

I know “rigoramortis” (sp?) is a natural act that takes place when a person dies but what is “rigor”? Is that when all the fluids harden in the body? Do the cells harden? (Yes, I know I can read all this online but pin pointing my questions to the answers can take a lot longer than if my cousin Steph would call me and explain or provide answers. Or if she could write her answer in the comments section to help us all out (in case you were wondering too).

I know these questions may seem morbid to ask but once you have been through this and watched a vibrant, knowledgeable, stoic person dwindle into a helpless, can’t talk, can’t lift a finger, can’t speak person- it’s heart breaking but these are questions that I never asked. I need to know.

Can anyone help? Steph, any RN’s, CNA’s, LVN’s. anyone?

questions, so many questions

Is screaming therapy? Will screaming out into the desert help me grieve or is it just a stress reliever? Does it matter what it is? Will I seem crazy for screaming? Why do I care what other people think? It hasn’t stopped me before. I think the only reason why I care is because it’s my Mom’s backyard and these are her neighbors.
Why is someone’s life cut so short after so much suffering? Does God know that my Dad’s life would have been constant pain and suffering, so he cut his line short to “save him”?
If he is resurrected into another person, animal or thing- how will I know it’s him? Will he provide a sign?
I am waiting for a sign, I am waiting for an image (not scary of course), I am waiting for him in my dreams, I am waiting for a sign that he’s happy in his new place.

Waiting.