Archive for January, 2008
January 30th, 2008 -- Posted in |
On your birthday…..
1. Two representatives from Hospice come by to discuss your options for “at home” Hospice care or Hospice care at a local facility (in the morning). Then you realize that the amount of care that is needed could not be supplied solely by your spouse so you opt for the Hospice care at a local facility.
2. You are given your “Last Rights” by a Priest. (6 pm)
3. Your family members wish you Happy 66th Birthday (all day long) and read you cards full of support, love and hope.
4. You had a radiation treatment earlier in the day that has made you sleep all day. Completely wiping all the energy from your body.
5. You are told you are being transferred to an extended care facility (but really a Hospice at a local facility). The transport van has a horrible quote on the side of it “To serve all People at the end of Life’s Journey”.
6. You spend your first night alone in this new facility. (this is the only thing I regret about not being a part of). Even though the Hospice told us that he will be taken care of and that the admittance takes a while. I should have driven in my car and met him there. I know he understands why we were not there.
January 29th, 2008 -- Posted in |
So, the Pneumonia is still present. The average person takes approx 2-3 liters of oxygen (so I was told). My Dad is taking respiratory treatments everyday and he is taking in approximately 5-8 liters a day (depends on the day). Depends on how bad he is coughing or throwing up or just having trouble breathing in general.
So, my Dad’s doctor informs us today that there is nothing else they can do. It was a heart breaking moment. I wanted to give all my strength to my Dad, give him all my good red and white blood cells, give him my fat so he would gain weight, give him my sanity so he can see that there is always hope, get him out of that bed- walking around, making the blood circulate throughout his body, get him moving to help clear out the pneumonia- ANYTHING! Instead, I have to hear the words from a doctor my parents have been going to for at least 6 years “there is nothing else we can do”.
CANCER is like SATAN! CANCER is SATAN! CANCER takes lives everyday and it sucks when it happens to one of your LOVED ONES, MY DAD! For the amount that I have cried since January 4th, I have probably made my own pond of tears.
January 28th, 2008 -- Posted in |
So, today is the 17th of Feb but I am back dating my posts starting today and my post will be back dated back on the 29th of January when my hope was dwindling fast.
January 24th, 2008 -- Posted in |
My Dad is getting over pneumonia- I can’t believe his chest congestion got that bad. He’s been on a respirator for over two days now. I guess since his blood oxygen level was falling below 90 they moved him upstairs to the IMU (intermediate care unit) to monitor his breathing more. Even though he greatly despises hospitals, my Mom and I are grateful that he’s under such great care. I would just hate to see what all this is going to cost considering the deductible for all medicare is paid up front in the first part of any treatment in the beginning of the year.
On Sunday, my Mom and I were told: Monday afternoon the feeding tube surgery would take place, allow 1 day to heal, then start the feeding tube on Wednesday (am), then by Friday he will be allowed to come home. Well, the nurses did not know last night when he would be able to come home. It takes time to plan and prepare for someone recovering to start living back at home. We have to make room for anything that will be coming home with him (machines- who knows). I guess when my Dad came home after his major surgery last January, my Mom had to learn how to operate and change out his TPN line (food through the vein). I am sure that was very stressful.
January 22nd, 2008 -- Posted in |
we have lost a gorgeous Australian actor by the name of Heath Ledger. He died today at 3:35 pm. I was caught off guard by this and I am sad. He was so young (28), he had a 2 yr old daughter (Matilda), he was such a hot, gorgeous, beautiful man and now he’s gone.
Let’s all say a prayer.
It’s still under investigation but I’ve read on TMZ and heard on CNN today that OTC sleeping pills may have been the cause. Also on CNN it’s stated that one can not die from sleeping pills just that one would get really sick. So, I will have to wait for the autopsy report.
January 22nd, 2008 -- Posted in |
A lot has happened since 2008 peaked it’s head:
1. Last day of work was Friday January 4th- woo hoo 
Unfortunately, no future prospects at this time.
2. January 7th- got a haircut and I got bangs- something different
3. My husband and I drove to Vegas on Thursday night and arrived at the Silverton on Friday morning- the lack of sleep got us both sick- boo hoo 
Gambled at the Silverton and lost some money. My husband gambled on the football games and lost some money too. It wasn’t a winning weekend.
4. Took my husband to the airport on Monday the 14th so he can go back to work and start his new job.
5. I’ve been in Vegas since the 11th and I plan on staying until at least the 10th of February. This is the grim part…… My Dad has brain cancer. I am hopeful the radiation will shrink the 5 tumors and prolong his life. I am hopeful. His cancer is metastases (from esophagus, lymph nodes, stomach and sphincter and now to the brain). I am grateful I am here visiting and that I have the opportunity to stay and be supportive to both my Mom and Dad.
6. Since being in Vegas I have spent two days with my friend Szabo. I have been able to hang out with her and clear my head. We ate dinner at the Melting Pot last Friday the 18th. We also had lunch at the Cheesecake Factory on Sunday.
7. Today the 21st, I took my Saturn to the Saturn Dealership and they fixed the Positive cable on the battery and the cooling connector and sensor. I was having what seemed like electrical problems but the major problems have been fixed. The torque axel mount still needs to be fixed with some other general maintenance such as the wires, plugs and the brakes. My husband and his brother will work on that when I return home. My Mom followed me to the Saturn dealership- she was my ride home. On the way home we indulged in the $1.49 Special Breakfast. It included 2 eggs, 2 bacon, hash browns and a slice of toast. IT WAS A STEAL! This is only offered M-F from 6 am - 11 am. It was cheap and good. Both meals only cost $3.21 this included tax. This was served at Baja Cafe at the Fiesta (station casino).
8. Also today the 21st, I got my Mom sick with my cold. I feel so bad. She has enough to worry about and now she has to battle this freaking cold. She sounds far worse than me with sneezing, runny nose, and heavy congestion.
9. Also today, my Dad had surgery today, a feeding tube was inserted into his small intestine and these tubes hanging out of his body….. he will be able to feed himself the nutrients his body needs since the radiation at the base of his brain has caused the muscles in his esophagus to not work properly. So, he has an extremely difficult time swallowing any food or any liquids. It’s really saddening to say that he has not eaten a drop of food since the Monday the 14th. The only items entering his mouth is ice chips but even that eventually gets coughed and gagged back up. See, back in January 2007 during his major surgery, his sphincter (opens and closes the stomach) was removed. Without that sphincter (basically the flap) keeps the acid in the stomach and keeps whatever is swallowed down in the stomach. Since he doesn’t have the flap nor strong enough muscles to push the liquid/food down, it just sits there and then eventually comes back up and out. It’s really heart wrenching to witness all this but I can only be supportive. I can’t believe it but today was my Dad’s 11th surgery since Dec 23rd, 2005 (angiogram).
PRAYERS FROM ALL ARE WELCOME, PRAYER CHAINS, PRAYER SESSIONS- I know the power of PRAYER helped my Dad recover from his double bypass on 12/24/2005 and also helped his remission with his first round of cancer back in early 2007. Even though the oncologist states that the radiation is buying time, isn’t that what life is all about- buying time and making the most of it?????!!!!!!!!!
January 4th, 2008 -- Posted in |
I just found out moments ago that my Dad has been diagnosed with Brain Cancer. His doctor gave him 1 month to live if untreated and who knows if treated. I had to write this in case that I forgot. WTF? I am fuming!
Prognosis- GRIM!
God give me strength.
Today was suppose to be different but not so different to hear this terrible news. My poor Mom, my poor brother, ME!
Today was my last day of work. I gave my two week notice, I worked a little over 2 weeks. I felt good leaving work. I have only been home for 4 hours.
I feel sick!
January 1st, 2008 -- Posted in |
I got my three and half hour fix last night to bring in 2008. I played Halo 3 with (10) 17-22 year old guys. The party I was at, these two parents mentioned what was going on at their house across the street (Halo Party), so I asked if I could get my fix……. of Halo 3 that is. Not the (10) 17-22 year old guys. HELLO- I am married ya know They were kind of shocked that a woman my age wanted to play and that I actually was not that bad. Compared to them…….I was an easy kill. Halo 3, the game controller has a completely different set of controls than compared Halo 2 and Halo. It was still fun but my score was going into the negative at times. I kept wanted to jump but then I would throw a granade and blow myself up instead. I kept getting the controls mixed up with my PS2 also. We kept playing round after round of this game that involved Zombies (INFECTED) with different weapons, different skills set- no shield, a lot of health, a lot of gravity, barely any jumping abilities. It was fun, different and I didn’t realize that guys this age are so consumed with video games. I guess when you are under the age of 21, that’s all you do is play video games and play with girls heads. I got an earful but played like I wasn’t listening. From 10:50 - 11:45 pm, I played. Brought in the New Year with Champagne, blowing horns, lighting off fireworks, then hung up my horn and went back across the street until Jason pulled me away close to 3 am. I haven’t played Halo 3 since I went over to my friend Sheli’s place and played with her husband (not live). It was fun and I am happy the guys were accommodating and didn’t ask me to leave once I wasn’t a good asset but an easy kill on someone’s team. At least when we did play teams, they didn’t keep killing me to gain kills for the round. Instead, I hid and tried to either run them over with the worthogs, shoot them flying the banshees, fry them with the giant laser gun, snipe them from afar or rocket launch them from a distance. They liked to play these large mapped terrains which I am horrible at. Close quarters with a pee shooter or the sword is my alli. Spawn me in on a huge map with a shot gun, needler, or sniper rifle then I will continue to respawn until the round ends and my score will be zeros across the board. I wonder when I will be able to play next. I wonder if they will ever make a Halo type game aside from Red Faction for PS2. Does anyone know of such a thing? I am not a video game guru so I won’t be spending any time today searching the internet for such a game. I have a party to get to in 2 hours, I need to get ready, wait for Mr. Lehrbaum, and get an appetizer ready. Good thing I didn’t drink more than one glass of champagne. I had the onset of a headache this morning and it could have been worse if I drank 2 glasses of champagne. Whew!